Monthly Archives: May 2012

Some thoughts on gay marriage

I have a few questions for those who favor legalizing gay marriages.

Question 1: On what grounds to we base our definition of marriage? In fact, what is the definition of marriage that allows for gay marriage? Currently, it is defined as “the formal union of a man and a woman, typically recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife,” or ” the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law.” If this changes, why should it change? The reason I ask this is because if the definition is arbitrary and dependent upon time and culture, then how do we prevent future changes that allow polygamy and animal marriages and such? I know it is an extreme, but so I often I hear that it should change because it should be about two people who love each other. But if that is the sole reason, how can we likewise prohibit polygamy, since they could love each other to, right? And according to the same logic used to allow gay marriages (fairness and equality), how can we deny them this “right?” The problem is that the logic that allows gay marriage is a slippery slope. If we are consistent, then we can’t deny any type of marriage, no matter what it consists of.

Question 2: In what way are gay people not treated equally in regards to the right to marry? Nobody is saying that they can’t marry. They have the same right to marriage that I do, and that is to marry someone of the opposite sex. It’s the fact that they do not like the restrictions that limits who you can marry. That right has not been taken away from anyone, so quit saying that it is. Look at it this way, you are offered a job, and you have the choice to accept it or not. But you prefer another job, but one that is not hiring. Can you really say that the situation is not fair because you want the other job but it’s not being offered to you? I understand that these are two different issues, but we all agree that the job situation is not unfair, and in the same way, you are given a right, you just want a different right because you don’t like the one that is offered.

 

Final question: What is the purpose of marriage? Current research is not conclusive either way in regards to how children brought up in same sex households are affected. If it can be shown that it affects them negatively, and be shown that both sexes involved in their lives as parents is better for them, would this sway you to think differently?

If the purpose of marriage is to allow for the nurturing and furthering of families and bringing in new life to the world, then clearly same sex couples have no part in it. They can’t bring new life themselves, and I believe that a same sex household is not the ideal way for a child to grow up. This is the same reason that I do not like single parent homes and wish it upon no one. It is not the ideal. Yes, it happens sometimes. Dad’s leave, mom’s ask for divorces, people die. It’s unavoidable. But I strongly disagree with people being allowed to adopt and have children through artificial means of any sort when they are not married to someone of the opposite sex. This is not at all to say that one who comes from any of these families is illegitimate or lesser or to put seen differently or even that they won’t turn out better for it. There are always exceptions. But just as we do not encourage people to drive without seat belts because in %1 of accidents or what have you not wearing one saved someone’s life, we should not encourage behavior that tends to be detrimental in any way. It’s sad that people could be so selfish as to potentially harm another human being, especially one such as sacred and unique as a child. For me, that is unacceptable.

 

Would love to hear thoughts on this, for or against, religious or non-religious,

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